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22 years of age. weed talking: ♪♫ " i see life differently to you. i am free. i do not encumber myself with life's nitty gritties, what use? ♪♪ i want to walk free, open minded, birdlike. i am who i am. what of it? i don't want this job! reject it. i don't want to quit. but i'll be damned if i ask for help. ♫♪" at his age i lived in england, made a life there. knobhead lives at home.
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i could indeed crawl away between freshly washed and folded sheets and rest my weary head. i could cry my eyes out, bawl. i won't say i haven't done that. i did. and it didn't really help. what helped yesterday was stitching up curtains, what helps is my standing intention to write long hand letters. and a cuppa soup, shimmied up from old spinach, spinach juice, onions and garlic and a batch of endives&appple salad, gone sour. go figure.
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sounds completely weird, i agree. fetches however my mood. i sprinkled in lavish amounts of curry powder. will it help? who'se to say? will it lift off the hurt? probably not. it might tenderize some and give me a prospect to go on. and like i started out this post-to-forget: 'tis the connection that drives me. and perhaps also that glass of G&T. luv' you though.
We all have to find our own way through this world - I think remembering who you are in the midst of someone else's crisis is one of the hardest disciplines to maintain- especially when it is your child- so much interlacing going on there! So if soup curtains and a stiff G&T helps you reconnect or ground to your own self I see no problem there- big hug brave new year!
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, Kristen really said it my friend. I'm gonna have a G&T later in your honour (well all I have is a nice bottle of whiskey and a nice bottle of brandy (Xmas gifts.) But I'll have something and think of you. What with the zillion of quotes out there you'd think I'd come up with some encouraging words, but not so. Just let me say that years ago as I lay in a hospital bed so wrecked that I could barely lift my head, a physiotherapist leaned over me and looked into my eyes and said "take it one hour at a time." This was in 1991 and I took those words to heart and have lived my life to the hour on the hour every day of my life and intend to do so until my last hour. So N, take it an hour at a time friend! Happy New Year! Norma, xo
ReplyDeletesecond time, where did my first comment go?......
ReplyDeletehow i wish i lived closer so i could sit there at your kitchen table
talking and laughing about life
in the meantime helping you with thos curtains
making plans for the sweet garden house
drinking lots of tea and coffeen (and sip some G&T :^))))
yes, take it one hour at the time
we are here and i hope to see you soon!
Patrice A.
xx
sitting here, looking at your endless creativity, pondering about life and it's tricky situations.
ReplyDeletewords....i read some fine things in the above comments.
thoughts...in thought i'm with you, hoping with you.
the sun is out here, reflecting in the puddles outside.
xx
:) !!! I wish you a happy and beautiful new year... in your wonderful world.
ReplyDeleteI've been drinking whiskey in a combo of grape juice and ginger ale due to a cold and cough. I've started writing a letter to three different people once a week in a card. Sometimes they are long and sometimes they are short. But their written in friendship and love and is keeping me connected with three dear friends. It also relaxes and calms me esp. when I write them during the period that I have a squirrelly group of kids in study hall.
ReplyDeleteSo know how you feel. Thankfully they grow up and leave home and then miraculously want to come for visits and actually at some point even think their mother knows something! I hope your brat figures this out soon for your sake and for his. See you in September for a G&T, coffee, tea, hugs and giggles. xoxo
ReplyDeletewe probably all went through that phase in the late teens and early twenties, except that many of us back then didn't live at home. finding your own ground may not be possible (for many) whilst living on parents' ground, which is the only choice most kids have these days. as far as i understand, you're solo parenting, which cannot be easy - it can't be easy to feel all the weight of the responsibility on you. it's good that you find pleasure in sewing curtains, doing your own things, and reinventing your career - a parent cannot become a reflection of their own child. (remind me of all this in a few years, when my kids reach that stage!). hugs to you, brave mama, and to your son.
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