with son spreading his wings and indulging in independent thinking and acting (apart from a financial backdrop), i realise he’s no longer a child, my child even, we are no longer in the same zone. he’s whispering his yearnings into younger people’s ears. not that i didn’t see it coming, nor that it’s in any way unnatural. i believe even i cut the umbilical cord with my own parents far earlier than he does today. but i must have gone and missed that precise moment of incision and separation, indeed. when was it that i grew this old that i can but notice him crossing the street and slipping into his friend’s parents mercedes, chasing his own dreams. the trusty merc not driven by dad, but by friend himself, reassuringly turning the motor 'round the curb and out of sight. did i blink, did i swallow?

this fall we will blot out even more memories of a bygone dream, when we replace our current house for a freshly renovated one, a blank canvas to a new dimension. nothing will be familiar then, there will be no mental notes to fall back upon, no reliable criteria to turn to. as i’m shyly inclining towards resignation, i can’t help it. apart from anything else, i’m into missing the feeling of missing my boy too.


  1. Beautiful... Sometimes I have the same feelings about my children, but, be a witness and see a young man or woman acting make me proud... and this kind of sadness disappear.

  2. Don't be sad, those things happen and you'll have to deal with it. Just try to do it in a way you love, try to be by his side but let him be independent.
    That's what I'd like my parents to do when I turn 18 (only 1 year left!). But the truth is that here we still live with our parents until 25 -some even until 30- so our idependence is a bit different.

    Enjoy your son growing up and becoming a man :)

    I always love to take a look over here, your blog is lovely!
    Big kisses

  3. Lief en mooi,er is daar liefde.
    En het is die tijd van het jaar die aanzet tot mijmeren.'Je kinderen zijn je kinderen niet,ze zijn 's levens hunkering naar zichzelf..'Jawel,maar soms.., en toch een vorm van geluk ook.

  4. Such an adorable picture! He looks like he was quite a philosophical little thing : ) And don't worry, I'm sure he'll be back soon once he's tried out his new-found independence. (After all, who wouldn't be tempted to hang around your house when you make those delicious-looking pastries!)

  5. oh it sounds so melodramatic...with all my kids i very rarely have a chance to miss those things...which sometimes i wonder is the way it should be. hopefully in just a few short years we'll be looking forward to grandkiddies to fill the next roll...even though my youngest is 2. it is shocking how fast they grow, and how fast time moves.

  6. I know what you are saying. My 20 year old baby just moved out, but I am very happy and surprised that he is calling us for help (car battery) asking our advice and actually coming to visit. We thought with his temperament he would not look back. Also he is calling when he finds that he can't make dinner or a visit. He has developed manners and consideration in the short space of two weeks! I have become very proud of late!

  7. I have 3 more years till I have one that can fly the nest and he wants to fly into the military.

    Knowing you your son is going to become and do great things and your going to be able to sit back and say I had apart in all this, I raised a wonderful person and he ate well along the way...
    Hugs too you!

  8. They grow fast don't they? Happy weekend!

  9. I don't know what to say. I know we all expect it to happen sooner or later, and I also know that we can't begin to imagine what it actually will feel. It's a big transition, and the beginning of a new kind of relationship with our kids. Did you read this?: